Hey kiddo,

The doctor says you’re a girl–he said it’s 100%, but I’d say it’s 95/5. I can’t wait to meet you, kid. Your mom and I have an idea for your name, but I don’t want to put it in writing until it’s for sure.

I’m not sure what exactly it means insofar as your life experience is concerned–I’ve never been a girl. I was talking to Mom earlier today and we got into a bit of an argument about the Stanford prison trials and the causes of it and we eventually realized that we agree–you will be given the opportunity to become a mental ninja. That may seem like a non sequitur to you, but that’s because you’re not a mental ninja yet. (Besides non sequitur is the new sequitur)

Nana and Dziadzi were there and very excited, if you couldn’t tell. We got more pictures of you, some of them skeletal, others not so much. There’s a whole wide world out here, kid, and you are in luck–it’s your oyster.

We just finished cleaning for brunch tomorrow morning and we were listening to The Dismemberment Plan and I thought of you when I heard:

You Are Invited

I got it in the mail one morning; there was no return address–just my name in gold leaf on the front. There was no time or location–there was really no info at all: no date, no place, no time, no RSVP, but it said,
“You are invited by anyone to do anything. You are invited for all time.”

I didn’t think much about it. It seemed like a really dumb joke, but later that week it was Friday, once again. So I took it down to a disco that wouldn’t have me in a million years. I flashed it once and I was inside with a drink. I really didn’t stay too long there, cause no one was having much fun. I made my way to a party all the way across town. It was thrown by the friend of an ex-thing. I wasn’t sure if I should go, but when I got up in the place there were smiles all up and down. I grabbed my ex in the kitchen; I told her I was sorry I came, but she looked at me with a glazed smile and said,
“You are invited by anyone to do anything. You are invited for all time. You are so needed by everyone to do everything. You are invited for all time.”

I headed for home kinda early–the party wasn’t all that great. I saw my neighbor out crying on his front porch. I stopped to see what his deal was; I couldn’t catch much through the sobs: something about a party and he didn’t go. I thought about it for a second, with the invite in my hand. I threw it down at his feet and I said:
“You are invited by anyone to do anything. You are invited for all time. You are so needed. If you really want to go, you are invited for all time…for all time…for all time.”

So anyway, kid–you are invited. No one can wait for you to get here. From me, I promise a life of gratitude. Sometimes, I’ll have to express that by grounding you, of course, but mostly just hugs.

Hasta pronto, Pickle.

Love,
Dad

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